January 10, 2019

3 effective ways to reach peak performance and kick ass in 2019

Happy New Years guys!

I’m a little late to the party but I spent some time offline sans social media so I can focus on enjoying life and being more present in the moment. We’re SO over stimulated on a day-to-day basis that we sometimes lose touch with reality and forget to water our plants (literally and figuratively) – you know what I mean?

Reflecting on 2018

So I’ll briefly give you the cliff notes version of whats new in my life. After years of talking about it, Pasquale and I finalllyyyyy watched the Sopranos and ohmigod. I can’t believe it took us this long to pull the trigger. We’re in the middle of Season 6 right now chomping at the bit. Pasquale might even bring back the Fila tracksuit and wear it during the season finale- who knows.

Work-wise, I have to say I had a pretty damn good year. For those of you that don’t know, I’m in the renewable energy industry and was awarded top sales (wo)man out of an organization of all men. I closed about $3 million in residential contracts which contributed to one of the best years the company’s ever had which is pretty cool.

Blog-wise, let me tell you something… this is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I’m excited to document my journey with you guys. 2018 was a year of keeping up with the Jones’s and many new bloggers jumped into this space to avoid missing out on the trend. With virtually no barrier to entry, anybody can start a blog – but how do you stand out in a grossly oversaturated market? I actually have a lot to touch on in regards to creating a digital platform so I’m going to elaborate more in my next post. I have some interesting content to bring to the table so check back in a couple days- especially if you’re considering creating a blog/brand yourself.

Overall, this year was a tumultuous ride filled with a lot of success, gratitude and humility. I don’t believe in “new year new me” because growth is always a forward progress. I believe the opportunity we have in our lives is a result of the habits and rituals we repetitiously practice everyday.

To get to the point of my post, I wanted to share with you guys some very effective tips for getting your ass into gear in 2019. I’m a big fan of peak performance expert Ed Mylett and I recently just listened to him on an interview with  The Skinny Confidential | Him + Her Podcast (which btw if you’re not listening to her podcast are you EVEN living?)

The timing of this podcast couldn’t have been more perfect. I’ve actually listened to it about 4 times now and it’s 1 hour long, it’s that good.

I was struggling with a little bit of depression which frustrated the shit out of me because I couldn’t put my finger on why. I felt riddled with anxiety and sadness 24 fucking 7 and couldn’t snap out of it. All of my boxes are checked and if anything I’m in the best place of my life I’ve ever been- so what gives? After listening to Ed’s powerful message everything. just. clicked.

3 Effective Ways to Achieve Your Goals and Reach Peak Performance

 

1. Control the first and last 30 minutes of your day

If you’ve ever been through tough times you know how out of control you feel. Always reacting and responding to everything. Although we can’t control a lot of the external stuff, we can control the first and last 30 minutes of our day. This 30 minute ritual is non-negotiable and needs to be implemented daily.

2. Self Confidence

Self confidence is the process of keeping the promises you make to yourself. Repetitiously build a reputation with yourself. Keeping those promises will transition in other areas of your life, creating a ripple effect. Just like Ed, for me confidence starts with my body. I cannot control who cancels an appointment, what deal falls off, who thinks what about me, but I can control what I put in my mouth and when I workout.

“You cannot possibly be in a peak state physically and be depressed”

3. Changing Your Identity

This one resonated the most with me. Gave me chills. Tony Robbins says “you will never exceed in your life what your identity is.”

Ed put’s a different twist on it.

He relates your identity to a thermostat sitting on the wall of your life. A thermostat sets the temperature in the room so no matter what blows into it, hot or cold air, it will regulate back to that set temperature.

So if you’re somebody that has an identity temperature of 68 degrees, you might reach 80 degrees when life starts going really well for you and you close a big sale or land a new job. But you’ll eventually come back to your set temperature of 68 degrees. Adversely, you may go through a rough patch which drops you to 50 degrees but you’ll regulate yourself back up to 68.

The definition of identity is the thoughts, concepts and beliefs you hold true about you.

“If you cannot learn to be both happy now, and save some money, now, based on where you are.. when you get a bunch of money you will not save any of it and you will not be happy.”

I thought that was super powerful because it’s so spot on accurate. Expenses will always rise to meet income so if you cannot learn to save in scarcity, you won’t be able to save in abundance. People that hold off on their happiness until they hit that next financial milestone, or until they get that new car or house will never ever be happy because they’ll be bringing their identity, habits and rituals with them to that new destination.

In order to change your identity you need to change your associations and your proximity to those associations. If you want to get into shape, associate with more fit people. If you want to be more financially independent, associate with people that are successful. You are the average of the 5 people you surround yourself with.

 

I hope you got some insight from this post, I’m looking forward to being more active on here and writing some valuable content. I would love some feedback if you liked this post and thought it was helpful!

 

xx Victoria

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  • Happy Mother’s day and Sunday friends. In case you need to be reminded, you are enough and you are appreciated! What a beautiful time to be a woman. Don’t underestimate yourself, ever. You are stronger, bolder, smarter and more capable than you may realize. Cheers to females uplifting and inspiring others, the world is a better place because of you.
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Sooo I crossed off 2 major items on my list and it feels like a boulder has been lifted off of my shoulders. Office makeover complete✔️and wedding venue locked down✔️ (I am so over the moon to reveal the details on this >> It’s like the boho gods curated THE most perfect location I didn’t even know existed🧚🏼‍♀️) and what perfect timing too, I was about to throw in the towel out of frustration. It seems like every venue is an over-priced catering hall with the same factory style wedding. Can’t wait to share the planning with you guys!
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OH and how fun is my office chair?! I wasn’t sure about it at first but I’m obsessssed. I’ll be sharing all of the details on my blog, I didn’t get a chance to post last night but it should be up by Monday🌛🌜
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When designing this space it was important for me to have a creative corner where I can think/read/write sans distraction. I’ve been finding it hard lately to be alone in my own thoughts because of all the stimulation and instant gratification we have right at our fingertips. Gone are the days we’re forced to stare at a wall when we’re bored🤣
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My goal is to implement more time to think completely unplugged and unfiltered with just a notebook and a pen - and maybe some hot lemon water. Just like the gym, client meetings and other non-negotiables, I’m challenging myself to block out 1 hour once a week to just think. 🧘🏼‍♀️✨
Anyone have any tips/advice for meditating?
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PS- my pillow cases were just $39 (for ALL four!) I’ll be posting my whole office makeover on the blog tonight. http://liketk.it/2BL5b #liketkit @liketoknow.it
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5 years ago me and one of my good friends Christina (major boss babe- give her a follow @sunkissedbychris) started a fashion blog for fun. When thinking of names we tossed up the idea of “grace and vanity” but I made a typo and for some reason we liked it. That’s when @stylebygraveandvanity was born.
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Fast forward to now I still have the same name but there’s different meaning attached to it. A synonym for grave means “having a matter of importance as a topic” and I think that describes 1/2 of my blog. I talk about real shit i.e. finance, career, and self improvement. The other half of my blog is keeping up with trends and fashion and all things in between. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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